Identifying and Working Through Your Wedding Values: Part 2

Hi Love Birds,

Photo Credit: Booth Photographics

Last week we went through the first five topics regarding wedding values to discuss with your partners, and this week we have five more! We are getting into the nitty-gritty of wedding planning and therefore, the nitty gritty of your values! Let’s begin with ceremonial aspects and then get more specific. Remember to categorize each topic by need, want, and “really-don’t-care” so that you and your partner can get a good idea of what is most important to you both.

Photo Credit: Iris and Light

Ceremony & Traditions

An important element to discuss is your actual ceremony… you know, the part of the wedding that makes you legally married. Are there religious or cultural traditions that you (or your families) want to include? Is it important who marries you (i.e. – a priest, rabbi, friend, etc.)? Another part of this is the traditions or moments that take place outside of the ceremony. For example, if you grew up Jewish, you may want to include the breaking of the glass into your ceremony or if you are Chinese, you may want to kick off the festivities with a tea ceremony. From jumping the broom to henna tattoos and from the father-of-the-bride speech to cutting the cake, there are a thousand little traditions that you will want to think through and decide what elements to include in your day.

Photo Credit: Anya Kernes Photography


This is a perfect time to decide on how you want to remember your day. You can hire a photographer, a videographer, or both! Talk through how important each of them is for you, and what kind of style of photography/videography you would like.

Photo Credit: Birds of a Feather

Food and Drinks

Although every wedding has food and beverages included, where it lands in terms of importance for each couple can vary greatly based on budget. This area is like a can of worms, so make sure to go through the following questions carefully. What kind of bar do you want to have, full or partial? Do you want a full sit-down plated dinner or a more cost-effective buffet? Is there a specific type of food you want to serve and are there any allergy accommodations you want to make sure you are sensitive to? This also includes dessert and cake! Discuss whether you want to have a cake and/or some other kind of dessert.

Photo Credit: Amanda McKinnon

Beauty & Attire

Start this conversation by discussing the dress code for your wedding. What you envision yourself and your partner wearing goes into this (for example, you can’t have a black tie wedding if the groom is wearing a suit). Think through what you want your crew to wear on the big day. We suggest our brides get their hair and makeup done professionally. However, it is up to you whether you cover this fully, partially or not at all for your gals.

Photo Credit: Birds of a Feather

Printed Items

At this point, you should discuss printed items and how important they are to you. Do you want elaborately decorate invitations and save the dates? Or sweet day-of programs? Also, do you and your partner want to create an interactive guest website for the event? There are plenty of options to choose from.

Photo Credit: Andrew Abajian

While this all may feel a bit overwhelming, it is so important to talk to your partner about all ten of these topics and decide what you both value the most. This is really the kick start to the rest of your decisions about budget and timing. With your values in hand, you can sketch out an initial estimated cost breakdown to help you keep your budget in check as you enter into any wedding related contracts. Remember that all of this work will be worth it when your special day arrives!

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